I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This girl is more easily done than said...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
