Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
