my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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