So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
