Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think people are normalizing furries
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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