Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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