as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
