Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im holly from the hills drunk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
