Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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