On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
His nipple licking is glorious
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