When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
