Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I could fuck to npr.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
