i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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