i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
