So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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