this beer tastes like vomit already
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
