He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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