All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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