he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
