She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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