So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
