fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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