this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize