'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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