My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
