a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
