Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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