Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
