Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
