Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
