i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Buhtt sex?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
