I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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