he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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