The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
