I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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