talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
