i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
