I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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