Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
