I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i think my cat just said my name.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
