So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize