i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
