so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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