I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
