you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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