Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Bring me that man meat
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
