i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
