dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
