There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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