We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
