we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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