I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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