Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
