Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
