Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
