so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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