just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
