Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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