Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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